Still waiting...

Still waiting.

We are still waiting on a signature so we can get assigned a judge so we can get a court date so that we can officially adopt our children so we can go back and bring them home.

We are still waiting.

Nobody has an estimate on when we will receive this signature, it could be tomorrow...or it could be next month.

So we sit and wait.

Heartbroken, we sit and wait. I can't even eloquently express how shattered I am that we are still waiting.

Our son's birthday is in less then 2 months.  In less then 2 months my precious son will turn 7.  Last year I wrote a blog when he turned 6, and my goal was for neither of my children to spend another birthday without a family.  As every day passes without a signature the chances of us making it to our son before he turns 7 is getting slimmer and slimmer.

I've already failed my daughter -- we didn't get to her in time.  She turned 8 without her family.  I'm so thankful for Skype and the ability to share her special day with her -- but it doesn't replace actually being there.

Last winter I started planning her birthday party in my head.  We were going to have a bouncy house.  We were going to do it outside. We were going to invite her friends (and hopefully a few family members would come too!)  The closer and closer we got to her birthday and it became apparent that this process wasn't going to be complete, I resigned myself.  I have also been planning my son's birthday.  Now, best case scenario, we will still be in the states when his birthday happens.  But every day that hope gets further and further away.

I really thought they would be home by now.  I really thought our children would be here.  I really thought we would be an official family of 4.  This process is taking much longer then we expected.

 I looked at a calendar today and realized it has been about a year since our adoption of Mikey and Liam fell through.  They would be home for almost a year now.  I know they are home with there new family and that they are loved, and no longer in an orphanage . I am glad they found a family.

I am just frustrated that we are still in this process.  We started our adoption journey in July of 2011.

More then 15 months ago.

I am ready for our princess and prince to be home.

I am heart broken that they are still waiting.

I am heartbroken over the uncertainty of the length of this process.

I am heartbroken that my children are not here.

They should be here.

They should be here!

Meeting your children and then having to wait m.o.n.t.h.s. to be reunited with them again is brutal, and I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.

I miss my kids. I miss their smell.  I miss the feel of them in my arms. I miss their smiles. I miss their laughs. I miss their spunk.  I miss them. I miss them so terribly that it physically hurts.

My heart hurts.

Every Wednesday I email our attorney and adoption agency asking for an update.  I know they will email me when the hear something, but I can't wait.  Every 7 days I write an email with hopes that I will receive a different response.   So far, no luck.

I just want our children.

I'm hoping that by next week I will have a happier blog with something positive to post.

Thank you for continuing to stand by us.

Love,

Lura