Day 8

Her View-

This morning we woke up and ate breakfast at the hotel. This hotel does not have a buffet style breakfast, nor do they have a breakfast menu so we waited until Eva joined us to help us figure out what we were going to eat.  We decided on one egg and one piece of toast – tomorrow we will have to eat more than that because an hour later we were both starving. 

After breakfast we got in the van and drove to where she is. I will have to look at the paper to remember her city name in the future, because it doesn’t translate into English easily.  

The drive was long (almost an hour) and was bumpy and hilly. I saw 4 donkeys, 3 horses, 1 rooster, a ton of chickens and a stray dog on our journey. We have seen several horse drawn buggies or donkey drawn buggies here, and it seems like a popular way to get to and from destinations. We are in a very agricultural area, and a very poverty stricken place.

Gia  is 7 and will be 8 in July. She is very tall for 7, at least I think so, and she is about rib height to me. Geo is right at my navel.

When we pulled up to her building, we parked and went inside. The psychologist  met us at the door, and she talked to Marty and Eva for a few moments. She led us into a room where we met another nanny and the director. All three of them with all 4 of us were in a small room maybe the size of a walk in closet. The room is the head mistress’ (aka directors) office, and the only administrative room in the building. The rest of the building is set up like a home, and they are teaching the children how to participate in a family.

The nannies and the director were very eager to tell us about our daughter. They told us she is very emotional and likes to test boundaries so you have to love her a lot, but be strict. They said she will test us to see what we will put up with, and once she knows our limits she will stay in them, mostly.  They said in the last year since she has been with them she has progressed so much and she speaks words (but not sentences). In the foster home that she is in they are working on self care (getting dressed, brushing teeth, making her bed, family chores etc.). The home has about 15 kids from 3-12ish and there are three bedrooms. 

They also told us that she knows she has a brother, but that she doesn’t understand the concept really. But when they ask her if she has a brother she will say “ja” and if they ask her if she has a sister she will say “ne.”

Sitting on the bench next to us when she first came in -- I'm so mad I wasn't looking! But look at that smile!

walking into the room -- she was very unsure of us.

The head nanny went out of the room and left the door open. We heard the commotion from the children, and the nanny said they were all waiting to see us too. Gia walked into the office and stood next to the door holding a cell phone in her hand. She is very, very shy and had her chin attached to her chest and was slouched like she was trying to pull herself inward. She had the biggest smile on her face and kept flicking her eyes towards Bobby and me. The Nanny was talking to her and asked her if she knew who we were and she said “JA!” really loudly. Then the Nanny said something about Mama and she pointed at me, and Papa and she pointed at Bobby. She finally looked up and caught my eyes and walked over to me. The Nanny said something and she reached for me so I put her in my lap. She was very, very nervous and was just playing with her cell phone and sitting on our lap. She would look at us, but if we looked back or caught her eye she would hide herself again. So Bobby and I just listened to Eva translate what the Nanny’s were saying and let her get comfortable with us. They also told her she is very interested in music and hums and sings songs.  They said if she is upset they will play happy music to change her mood and if she is too energetic they will play slow music to calm her down.

We gave her a pair of sunglasses (which she loved!)

The Nanny’s said we had to go get her passport picture done today (since they will be closed on Saturday and Sunday, so we were going with Gia back to where our hotel is.  I was very excited to be able to take her with us.  They told Gia to put her shoes on and she took her house slippers off and put her sandals on.  We gave her a necklace and a bracelet and her sunglasses (which she loved).  They also had a small purse for her – which actually matched the items we gave her today.

Mama the safety belt!

We all piled into the van (including the head mistress).  This van only has 5 seats, so they told me to put Gia on my lap and just hold her.  I was very nervous, what if we got in an accident? Not that I doubt Marty’s driving skills or anything, but her life was in my arms…ey!  She was comfortable on my lap, and we gave her some glow necklaces – which she was not interested in, but she did like the container they came in.  She was just holding everything, and not playing with anything so we just let her sit and take in the scenery.  I can’t imagine how much sensory overload she was getting at that moment. 

After about 30 minutes in the car she started to get restless so we pulled out the pictures we had.  We had been taking pictures with our camera but she wanted to take pictures (so there are not nearly as many as our first day with Geo).  When we handed her the pictures (they were of her and Geo that we got prior to meeting them).  She flipped through them and said the Bulgarian words for “that’s me” and pointed excitedly to all the pictures of her.  She would smile really big at us and make eye contact.  It was precious!  She also would say “ja’ when we said Geo and pointed to his photos.

Walking to get her photo taken.

When we arrived in Sillstra we walked to the picture office.  He made her hold our hand on the walk, which she didn’t mind at first, but about half way there she wanted to go a different direction so I had to tell her “ne” and hold on tight.  Once she realized I was in charge, she followed.  I was worried she was going to run into the busy street.  At the picture office she was very curious and wanted to look at everything.  The head nanny was testing us I think to see what we would do if she misbehaved, and we honestly didn’t think we were in charge.  So we kept her in the office (she tried to walk back out to the street) but didn’t stop her from touching stuff.  (I didn’t want to be the bad guy from the first moment we met her, you know?)  The nanny finally told her to stop and stand still, and she did, but I think she was annoyed that we didn’t stop her.

After the passport office we walked to a café a few stores down and ordered drinks while we waited on the photos to be developed.  They ordered her an orange juice and she was pretty excited to have her own bottle and her own glass.  I do not think she had used a straw prior to this point and Eva had to explain to her to suck on it (I tried in English, but of course she didn’t understand).  She did very well and we learned that you have to tell her to stop, or she will drink the whole glass in one sip.  She has the orphanage behavior of "I better eat this now before someone else does."

I did it all by myself!

After the café we walked to a park and she immediately walked to the swings.  All three swings were being occupied by other children so I walked with her over to a climbing thing (which she has zero interest in).  Instead she stared at the swings, just willing one of the children to get off.  After about three minutes a kid left and she started tugging on me, and we hurried over and she sat down and smiled and squealed at me (and I swear I saw Geo in her face).  We played on the swing for a little bit, but she still wasn’t interacting with us a whole lot.  Then we got out the beach ball globe and Bobby blew it up and handed it to her.  She swung holding it for a few minutes and then she wanted off and we followed her. She didn’t want to share the ball with us, and just wanted to hold on to it.  I finally took it from her and she screamed at me and swatted at me (I’m pretty certain I got cussed out in Bulgarian) and told her to stop and walked away from her.  Then I kicked the ball to her, and she was ridiculously happy.  We started playing soccer with the ball.  When we had the ball we would ask her if we should kick it to Gia or to Papa and she would tell us who.  She started to open up to us, and was laughing.  Her head lifted up, and she looked happy and relaxed.  After about twenty minutes she smiled at me with a smile that I knew meant something bad was about to happen.  She then turned and kicked the ball away from us (and we were already about 10 feet away from her standing in a triangle) and ran off after it kicking it further and further away.  I yelled at her to stop, and then I ran after her.  When I got to her I looked her straight in the eye and used my mean voice to tell her no, that this wasn’t safe and that we were playing over here.  I grabbed her hand, picked up the ball and she protested that she wanted the ball.  I looked at her again and said “ne Gia, Mama’s ball” and then walked her back to where we were playing.  I put the ball down and told her to kick it to Mama or Papa.  She nodded and smiled at me.  I could see her thinking too.  She grabbed my hand and I kissed her hand, and told her to kick it to Papa, and she did.  I think she just needed to know her boundaries with us. 

playing with the water in the foutain

this is the smile I got afterwards -- I think she liked the water!

She saw the park and started tugging on me to go faster

blowing bubbles with Papa

on the swing

I LOVE this picture!!!

After that she sat back down on the swing and Bobby would hand her the ball and she would kick it while swinging (sounds so safe, right?)  Well when she sat on the swing, Bobby walked over to push her, and she said “Ne” and pointed to where he was standing and then said “Mama.”  This was the first time she had said it and I actually paused…it felt so good to hear.  She kept looking at me like I was an idiot, and pointed (more forcefully) to the swing bar that I was pushing her from and said “MAMA!”  I quickly got there and smiled at her, and she looked in my eyes, and then we started playing.  She was kicking the ball and laughing as Bobby would chase after it.  99% of the time it would go straight up, and I would just tap it over to him.  We were interacting with her when giving the ball back and it felt amazing. She was really enjoying us, and we were enjoying her.

Kicking the ball

She loved this!

Resting on Papa.

After about 30 minutes of this the nanny came over and said she needed to rest (aka stop playing for a bit), so I took the ball and put it down.  She was so not happy with me. I told her to sit, so she sat in my lap for a few minutes, and then she got up and wanted to play.  The Nanny told her no, and she started to pout.  Then Eva told us the Nanny was ready to leave, so we walked back to the car.  The Nanny stayed behind (apparently all of the Nannies and the Director live in Sillstra and ride the bus to her village to work every day – so we were this Nanny’s ride home).  She let us take Gia back to her home (which means Gia got to wear a seat belt for this trip – yay!)  She was exhausted at this point and was fighting to stay awake.  She relaxed against Bobby and I really thought she was going to sleep, but then she would sit up and look at something. 

We dropped her off at her home, and she gave us each a hug and climbed upstairs.  We went to the only diner nearby (about ten minutes away) to get lunch, but their power was out.  The only thing they had to offer was drinks, and chicken noodle soup with bread.  So our options were soup or starve – and of course we chose soup.  We had about two hours to kill before we could go back to see her.  Honestly, I was exhausted from running around with Gia at the park for 90 minutes, and from being in the car for 3 hours (at this point – we were in the car for 4 hours total today). 

When it was time to go back to her, I had been questioning whether adopting two kids was a smart idea (I know, a little late in the ball game, eh?)  She was just so busy, and we can tell she is going to take more effort and patience then Geo.  I am not saying I wanted to say no to her, I was just questioning if she felt comfortable with us, and wanted to be with us.  I doubted our visit from the morning.  I wasn't sure she wanted us.

these are the smiles I got when we came back after lunch

how can you not love this girl!

When we got to the home we walked inside and went up to the second floor.  The Nanny opened the door and Gia was standing there with the biggest smile on her face!  She ran up and gave me the best hug, and kissed my check and wanted me to pick her up (and of course I did!)  She started playing with my hair and staring at me and then Bobby.  I don’t think she thought we were going to actually come back. 

Yes Papa laughed at her when she ate a bubble, so she did it again...

Blowing a bubble I caught

She is beautiful! And no she isn't drinking the bubbles, she just touches the wand to her chin every time.

The Nanny asked her to show us her room -- she said "JA!"

Telling Papa she needs a drink

blowing bubbles

Eva and the Nanny talked and Eva told us that when Gia came home she washed her face, drank a glass of water and sat down and ate lunch with the rest of the kids.  Then she went to bed and slept without her restlessness. They told us that normally she doesn’t eat until the other kids are done, and that she never eats when they eat.  She also said that she doesn’t normally sleep well and she tosses and turns.  They said she was very calm and relaxed (which is also unusual).  They said they can tell she has already connected with us, and they can see that she is happy.  This made me very, very happy to hear.  When they were done chatting we went downstairs and to the park (aka fenced in grass area) across the lane.  We played soccer some more (with a red plastic ball that she brought with her), and then we played with bubbles.  We were having a lot of fun.  Twice when she had the ball she would look at us with that mischievous smile, and then kick the ball the other direction.  Then she would point at it like we were supposed to go get it.  I just told her no, that she needed to go get it and would point.  She would stomp her foot and cross her arms then she would sigh and go after it.  She is stubborn, but I am more stubborn,  I know she is just testing to see what we will do, and I’m up for the challenge.

She really is awesome and sweet, and loving. And, my oh my is she pretty! She has the same soulful eyes as Geo and I get lost in them!  I can’t wait to see these two together, they are very similar.  When we were in the car on the way back to her village she was flipping through a book and she saw a Ziploc bag at the top of our backpack.  She pointed to it and Bobby looked at her, and said “no way!” Then he handed it to her, she put the book inside the back, and was pleased as punch!  I think we are going to need to stock up on Ziploc bags for these two!

About twenty minutes before our visit was over all of the other children in the orphanage came outside to play too.  Gia was not happy to share us, and she made it very clear.  She was happy to be around her friends, but did not want her friends around us.  I can understand – she shares everything in her life with these children, and she wanted to be special and didn’t want to share her Mama and Papa.  So we walked further into the park to be separate from them.  This worked for a few minutes, but then the kids started playing too close to us and she started protesting again so we walked to the furthest point in the park and sat on a bench.  She refused to sit on this bench, and told Eva “not here.” Eva asked her where then, and she pointed to the exit.  We followed her and ended up sitting at a picnic table outside of a market.   She was very happy to sit there with us, and she opened a bag of pretzels and ate them.  We gave her a bottle of water and she was super excited!

Then it was time for us to go, so we started walking her back home.  Eva told us to walk around the park so the kids wouldn’t come up to us again (since it upset her so much).  The Nanny saw us and took us on a tour of her home.  Gia showed us her bed, her bathroom, the kitchen, and her living room.  She also showed us a big bear that she sleeps with. I will have to explain their living situation more later, since it is super late and this blog is already super long!

When we left she gave us hugs and walked us to the car.  We waved at her, and Eva explained we would be back tomorrow.  She made Eva tell her the same sentence three times before she was convinced enough to let us leave.

On the way home we stopped at a grocery store and bought more water and snacks.  We were starving and bought more food then we can really consume, but its okay.  I also found a picture dictionary that shows the words in English, and Bulgarian and is has how to pronounce the English words with the Bulgarian letters (which is pretty awesome).  We bought two of them – one to leave with her, and one for us for our second trip.

Then we came home, ate dinner at the hotel, and now I am finishing up this very long blog.  The camera is dead, and is charging so I cannot get pictures off of it.  I will try to post a few in the morning before we leave on facebook, and I will put pictures into this blog tomorrow night.

She was very much worth the wait! 

Love,

Lura

p.s. Bobby only ½ typed his portion tonight, and will finish the rest on the ride tomorrow so I will add it to this post tomorrow night when I add the pictures.