The Next Step...

Sorry it has been a bit since either of us blogged.  This week has been super busy filled with our regular jobs (yes he is still TDY - ugh!), homework and research.  We have been looking high and low and pestering people to figure out what our next step should be.  We have several options -- but all present certain barriers or complications that we have to consider.  We have been sharing this entire experience with our family and friends, so we don't want to cut you off now... :) Here is the decisions we are juggling...

Option A.  Continue with RR and do a blind referral for the same Eastern European country.  We have come to the definite conclusion that we do not want to preselect another set of children.  It is not guaranteed -- and preparing for a child that doesn't come, hurts.  But preparing for the million of opportunities of not knowing what your child may be, that could be fun... 
*Pros -- We have been working with RR, we know what to expect, and are already started on the journey...
*Cons -- We do not know what children we will end up with.  Doing a blind referral takes a lot longer.  You wait longer to get the green light to come to the country.  Plus the climate in this country is constantly changing -- and right now it seems to be a little difficult to complete adoptions.  We are also on a time crunch -- We need to have everything done and turned in about a month...

Option B.  Domestic Adoption.  This is where you adopt a child that is still growing in its Mommy's belly.  Several people emailed us about this so we looked into it. The idea is exciting -- getting a child that is brand new to the world....But our calling to adopt was more to save a child from a life of an orphanage.  To teach them about a family and give them a better life. This type of adoption has tons and tons of people interested. Everyone seems to want a baby -- and there are companies out there to teach you how to better market yourself to birth mothers, we want to continue to try to have children in the future -- the horse isn't dead yet (so to speak)...The cost for this is between $20-$45k (depending on the route you take).

Option C. Foster Care Adoption (from the states).  We looked into this before deciding to go with RR. This is pretty much impossible to accomplish while living overseas.  The only state that works with you is Oklahoma (and from several people they kept pushing us back towards Oklahoma if we wanted to pursues this option). All of the states can do this type of adoption for us, but you have to find people who are willing to help you--and that my friend has been a challenge.  The only children that we found through Oklahoma that we would be able to adopt (they left Oklahomans have first dibs, then surrounding states, and then the kids that they can't place that way are offered to us) are too old for what we are approved for.  This is a cheaper option and we think we could get a sibling set for under $10k.  But this option doesn't seem like it is going to work for us unless we wait to adopt until we get back to the states....

Option D. Find another country.  We found another country on another continent (unsure if we are allowed to advertise it here -- so we are going to refrain).  We will call this country X.  Country X allows Americans stationed overseas to adopt and has several adoption agencies that will help us.  We found one agency (that our home study provider discouraged us from using) that said $18-20k for 1-2 kids, another agency that was rec'd by our social worker that said about $30k for one, and plan on spending an additional $4-10k for a 2nd (depending on the situation).  I also found another agency that said between $35-45k for 2.  This country has a fast-ish turn around time of 3-12 months...but in our situation (since we have so much stuff already done) she said to expect 3-5 months....The children are mostly boys, and can be adopted from 3months - 12 years.  They normally only have you adopt 1 at a time, but in the past people have adopted twins, siblings, or 2 unrelated children at the same time.  This would have to be worked out before we committed.  Country X is new to allowing Americans to adopt -- but I have met another family (who told me about the program) that is stationed with us in Germany who is in the process of doing this.  She knows a family that completed the adoption from X recently -- so hopefully we can all get together and I can pick her brain...Another drawback of country X is that we would have to go from their directly to the states to finalize the adoption in the states.  This tacks on an additional expense (since the country only grants you guardianship of the child), and would probably be about $2500 -- we would need to research the cost of adoption attorneys a little more...

Option E. Keep looking...

I am frustrated with the fact money is a barrier in all of this.  Option D seems great to us, but the cost is very intimidating.  And we have to decide if we would be okay with adopting just one child (which is more towards what we can afford), or go for two -- and pray!  Since the very beginning we have wanted to adopt two siblings and keep them together.  It is something that I have wanted to do for a long time, and something Bobby and I talked about before we were married...

But do we really want to give up on our previous country? We were committed.  We had plans.  Should we just pick up the pieces and go on a blind referral and hope for the best?

I know our children are out there and they are just waiting for us to realize where they are.  I know this is all going to work out -- I just wish I knew how. 

Lots of money -- lots more money then we originally planned on spending....but is money really a factor? We could fund raise more, pick up second jobs, take out a loan to complete this....is money going to stop us?

Now you had a glimpse inside my head -- I hope I didn't scare you away! Please feel free to comment away and share your opinions! :)

Happy Friday!

Lura