This last week has been rough. I can't point to one thing that has made it more difficult, but emotionally, physically, mentally this week has been rough!
This unknown waiting hurts. I am waiting without a definite time line. I am waiting for the unknown.
When I was younger I was always counting down days, and I still do it now. When my hubs goes on a TDY I count down the days as a way to cope. Before I go to bed I will tell myself only 30 more days, or only 1 more week...I can do this, it's only one more week. When it is time to PCS I countdown until we arrive at our new base. When its time to go on vacation I eagerly anticipate the days until we are there.
Not having a date to count down towards is slowly eating away at me. I want to know exactly where we are in the process. Exactly what we are waiting for. Exactly what date the next step will happen.
And I don't know.
I am slowly going crazy.
Not knowing is driving me crazy. I wish I just had something to count down towards. This, right now, is the hardest part of our journey so far. Not knowing is taking more of a toll on me then worrying about how we are going to be able to fund this adoption. Not know is worse then when the day we found out the other boys had been adopted. Not knowing is truly hurting my heart a little more every day.
I just need something to countdown for. Some date to cling to, and countdown towards. This is really, really hard!
So to my family and friends, I apologize for not being my normal self. I really feel as if my heart is a few countries away, and I can't quite breath until I know when I will be there. I am holding my breath, checking my emails, just waiting for an update. Any update.
Every breath hurts, and I honestly feel incomplete. I am ready to meet our children.
Thanks for your patience, and understanding. I promise, my bubbly happy self will return, but right now I am going to wait for news. Let's hope news comes quickly, cause my heart is hurting!
Thank you for your continued love and support! I know all of this is worth it. I can't wait to hold our G's in my arms!!!!
I know our children are worth every ounce of frustration and pain that I feel. I know they are worth it! I just can't wait to have them in my arms!
On a positive note, a family that is about 3 weeks ahead of us in the adoption process received their verbal referral this morning. They should be off to see their beautiful daughter soon! Hopefully we hear something soon.
Love,
Lura
This unknown waiting hurts. I am waiting without a definite time line. I am waiting for the unknown.
When I was younger I was always counting down days, and I still do it now. When my hubs goes on a TDY I count down the days as a way to cope. Before I go to bed I will tell myself only 30 more days, or only 1 more week...I can do this, it's only one more week. When it is time to PCS I countdown until we arrive at our new base. When its time to go on vacation I eagerly anticipate the days until we are there.
Not having a date to count down towards is slowly eating away at me. I want to know exactly where we are in the process. Exactly what we are waiting for. Exactly what date the next step will happen.
And I don't know.
I am slowly going crazy.
Not knowing is driving me crazy. I wish I just had something to count down towards. This, right now, is the hardest part of our journey so far. Not knowing is taking more of a toll on me then worrying about how we are going to be able to fund this adoption. Not know is worse then when the day we found out the other boys had been adopted. Not knowing is truly hurting my heart a little more every day.
I just need something to countdown for. Some date to cling to, and countdown towards. This is really, really hard!
So to my family and friends, I apologize for not being my normal self. I really feel as if my heart is a few countries away, and I can't quite breath until I know when I will be there. I am holding my breath, checking my emails, just waiting for an update. Any update.
Every breath hurts, and I honestly feel incomplete. I am ready to meet our children.
Thanks for your patience, and understanding. I promise, my bubbly happy self will return, but right now I am going to wait for news. Let's hope news comes quickly, cause my heart is hurting!
Thank you for your continued love and support! I know all of this is worth it. I can't wait to hold our G's in my arms!!!!
On a positive note, a family that is about 3 weeks ahead of us in the adoption process received their verbal referral this morning. They should be off to see their beautiful daughter soon! Hopefully we hear something soon.
Love,
Lura
just pick a date 1.5x what you think will be the day and just count from there.
ReplyDeleteJustin wrote this.
DeleteI am sorry Lura about how long the process is taking but as soon as you hold them, the joy you feel will be as great as all the frustration you went thru. I will happen soon, in the meantime try to enjoy your life as is because it's about to change!
ReplyDeleteLove
Naba
The waiting is the hardest part. But, think about it like a pregnancy. Nowadays young women know when they are 5 minutes pregnant, lol, so I'm guessing it seems forever. And just like an 8 month pregnancy you are getting crabby and uncomfortable. It's okay to feel that way. Remember it will end and you will have children. Do some things that aren't easy with little ones, give someone else a hand with something, look up recipes from your children's country and practice.. You are in my prayers during this time.
ReplyDeleteIt was a full moon this week...I think this whole week was a bit off!!! Hopefully you feel better soon!!!! :)
ReplyDelete