We are ecstatic to be bringing our kids home.
We can't wait for them to meet.
We can't wait to see them sleep in their beds.
We can't wait for our new life to begin....
But on top of all of these moments that we are looking forward to, we are anxious about others. We are worried about attachment issues. We have been worrying about how they will adjust. We have been worrying about all the little things new parents worry about. We have been reading books, and talking with other adoptive families to help us prepare.
The #1 piece of advice that we have received is to pick them up and return directly home. Do not pass go, and do not collect your $200. Just go home and hibernate with your new family for a few weeks. This allows your to get to know your children and for them to get to know you. This allows our kids time to get to know each other, and get used to our routine. It gives them time to get used to us, and acknowledge all of the changes that have just happened in their lives. It also lets them know who their family is, and how their needs will be met (food, love, shelter). We want our children to look to us for comfort, food, and their needs (not whatever adult is nearby or available - as it is with their current situation).
Unfortunately, we cannot go from Bulgaria directly home. We have to go to the United States to complete their paperwork. See our kids are not U.S. Citizens until they touch U.S. soil (which is super important!) We also need to get their social security cards, U.S. passports, and their military I.D. cards so we can start their command sponsorship paperwork. We have contacted all of the appropriate offices and have determined that it will take us about 5 business days to complete everything we need to do. Hence, we are coming to Arizona for about 2 weeks to complete all of their paperwork. We are going to stay for 2 weeks so it gives us times for things not to go as planned. Also we would like our kids to meet some of our close friends and family.
We are asking our close friend and family who have the opportunity to meet our kids while we are in the states and when we arrive home to refrain from hugging our children or meeting any of their needs. I know this sounds weird, but we ask that you please hand out handshakes and high-fives and leave the hugs to us, for now.
We want our children to seek us for the things they need in life. This starts with us providing them food and water, showing them where the bathroom is, giving them clean clothes, etc. They need to learn that we are going to be a constant in their lives and that we are here to provide for them (no matter what they need). They need to learn what a family is, and what their roles are in our family. They need to learn to trust us.
We are not saying that we will never let you dote on our children, but please wait until we have finished this transition.
So if you happen to see us walking around, or if we come over to your house, please resist the urge to hug and physically love on our kids. I know it will be hard (they are adorable after all), but handshakes and high-fives are the only appreciated means of contact for now. If our children do ask you for something, please guide them back to their Mama and Papa so we can help them.
We appreciate your understanding and can't wait for all of you to get your high-fives! :)
Love,
Bobby and Lura
We can't wait for them to meet.
We can't wait to see them sleep in their beds.
We can't wait for our new life to begin....
But on top of all of these moments that we are looking forward to, we are anxious about others. We are worried about attachment issues. We have been worrying about how they will adjust. We have been worrying about all the little things new parents worry about. We have been reading books, and talking with other adoptive families to help us prepare.
The #1 piece of advice that we have received is to pick them up and return directly home. Do not pass go, and do not collect your $200. Just go home and hibernate with your new family for a few weeks. This allows your to get to know your children and for them to get to know you. This allows our kids time to get to know each other, and get used to our routine. It gives them time to get used to us, and acknowledge all of the changes that have just happened in their lives. It also lets them know who their family is, and how their needs will be met (food, love, shelter). We want our children to look to us for comfort, food, and their needs (not whatever adult is nearby or available - as it is with their current situation).
Unfortunately, we cannot go from Bulgaria directly home. We have to go to the United States to complete their paperwork. See our kids are not U.S. Citizens until they touch U.S. soil (which is super important!) We also need to get their social security cards, U.S. passports, and their military I.D. cards so we can start their command sponsorship paperwork. We have contacted all of the appropriate offices and have determined that it will take us about 5 business days to complete everything we need to do. Hence, we are coming to Arizona for about 2 weeks to complete all of their paperwork. We are going to stay for 2 weeks so it gives us times for things not to go as planned. Also we would like our kids to meet some of our close friends and family.
We are asking our close friend and family who have the opportunity to meet our kids while we are in the states and when we arrive home to refrain from hugging our children or meeting any of their needs. I know this sounds weird, but we ask that you please hand out handshakes and high-fives and leave the hugs to us, for now.
We want our children to seek us for the things they need in life. This starts with us providing them food and water, showing them where the bathroom is, giving them clean clothes, etc. They need to learn that we are going to be a constant in their lives and that we are here to provide for them (no matter what they need). They need to learn what a family is, and what their roles are in our family. They need to learn to trust us.
We are not saying that we will never let you dote on our children, but please wait until we have finished this transition.
So if you happen to see us walking around, or if we come over to your house, please resist the urge to hug and physically love on our kids. I know it will be hard (they are adorable after all), but handshakes and high-fives are the only appreciated means of contact for now. If our children do ask you for something, please guide them back to their Mama and Papa so we can help them.
We appreciate your understanding and can't wait for all of you to get your high-fives! :)
Love,
Bobby and Lura
I love you guys so much, and I can't wait!!!! HIGH FIVES FOR EVERYONE!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe love you so much and CANT WAIT! High-fives for EVERYONE!!!
ReplyDeleteWe do the same thing
ReplyDeleteBut fist bumps and high
Fives! So
Excited
For
You!